whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
