After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
