we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
