My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
