There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
