problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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