Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
