dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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