omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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