dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
