then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
