I am spending my child support on dildos
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
