we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
