don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
