Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
