I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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