I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize