That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
