guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
