You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
