writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize