so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize