Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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