You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
