Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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