Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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