that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
