You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
