wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
