hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
