I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
