True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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