Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
