I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We don't watch enough power rangers
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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