you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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