Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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