Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
