was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
