only if we run a train.
done.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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