She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
