New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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