Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
