Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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