i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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