her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i wish my penis had a tongue
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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