You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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