porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
