I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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