I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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