hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
