just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
