Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
another moral hangover. fuck.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
