Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
