Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
