Im at strip club and am horny
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
