afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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