Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
