Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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