How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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