I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
