I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize