loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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