I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
be right there i have to get my cape
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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