its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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